No I'm not okay! I'm crying, of course I'm not I'm not okay! Thank you for caring enough to ask and I appreciate it, but I'm sick and tired of everyone asking if I'm okay. My boyfriend is two-timing me; the drumline season is over so I don't get to see my MC friends; we LOST to LONE PEAK! (we got 905/1000, they got 906/1000); I'm physically and emotionally blown out; I just want the world to stop so I can take a breather. I wish so badly that I could find a guy who I like & who liked me back, and who WOULDN'T two-time me, or lie to me, or intentionally hurt me. I thought I had found that in Christian, but guess what... THAT WAS A FLOP TOO!!! Am I jinxed? Well, I fed up, someone say my name already! I'm not going to get asked to Spring Fling and that will be a blow to me that I don't know if I can take. It will mean that the only two dances I've gone to was with a guy who just wanted somewhere to put his tongue, and my best friend who took me b/c my at-the-time-boyfriend wouldn't. That's so not cool. If I'm so hott then how come I don't get asked to dances? I'm going to miss all of the people at MC. Especially Chandra. She could make me smile not matter what. She would burst out singing some new Furgie song she had heard on the radio, then I would join in and we would dance down the hall singing and being dweebs and then we would stop and keep walking like nothing had just happened. I'm going to miss seeing Mark march shirtless. He was sooo hott! I'm going to miss Little D's sarcasm, and how nice Kevin always was, even after the guys had just dragged him around by his boxers. I'm going to miss Bubba being my "protector" and Heather and Jake being like cousins to me. I'm going to miss Clayton's talks about DCI and all things music. I'm going to miss them SOOOOO much... This hurts worse then when my marching band season was over. I have so much homework b/c I was sick this week. I have like three assignments per class due by Monday. I just want to curl up and watch a bunch of Scrubs and laugh my guts out at the fights that Cox and Kelso have, and the funny things JD thinks about. I just want to have a calm life for a while. The sad thing is, after about a day, maybe two, I would be so board! I hate me. Unless my life is complicated, I'm not happy, and it's true! I hate how I'm feeling, and how bad this whole week has sucked. I just and to cry and cry and cry and have Coltin hugging me and telling me it's okay. I want Coltin because his hugs are my favorites. I wish that Christian would just be a man and tell me that he has another girl. Honestly I don't care; I just wish that he would have told me. I think he's pretty cool, and I want to be his friend, but I have to end this half of the relationship first. I feel so alone right now, at this very second, at... 00:16 (12:16am). I'm tired, but I can't sleep. Ciao P.S. Maybe I’ll ask Kevin to Spring Fling. If anyone knows of anyone planning to ask me to the dance, let me know by Wednesday night.