Have you ever just wanted to call up that one ex with whom you used to be really good friends until you broke up and then got in some really huge fights and now you don't talk because you can hardly stand the sound of the others voice and if you do talk then you ex's current "significant other" will attempt to beat you up even though you could so take her/him out with a one-two punch!! Well I do. His name is Landon and if you wish to read up on the big fights the two of us have had, just read some of my stuff or rubberduckiee's stuff, or even photobyfrancis; she's got a lot of stuff, considering that she is his current significant other. I saw him driving his jeep on 8th east, and I don't think that he could tell that I was watching him; I had my CIA sunglasses on, they are mirrored black glasses that kick butt! I scared a bank teller once. Anyway... Landon and I started going out on May 8th 2006 and considering that the one year anniversary of that event was four days ago, I've had my mind on him for the past week or so. Totally not in a "I wish I had him back as a boyfriend" kinda way, but in a "I wish I had my friend Landon to talk too." I mean sure, I've thought about what it might be like to kiss him again, because sadly enough I've missed him kissing me, but that would be not good in so many ways... Too many ways actually. I just want to know if he ever thinks about me in anyway; if he misses me as a friend... That kinda thing. I called Chris twice yesterday and both times he wasn't there and I got the vibe that his mom doesn't like me so I'm kinda getting scared that I'm going to get hurt again. I know that I'm just being overly sensitive but can you blame me! After Landon, it was Brady, after Brady it was Joe (if I ever see his face again I will kill him), after Joe it was Grover, after Grover, now it's Chris and I've gone through one heart break already with him... I'm so frustrated with guys!! But Chris called me this afternoon and he was a little short with me when he asked me what was up but he apologized and then I asked him if I could take him to the drive in next Friday. He said maybe, because his parents might be going to pick their new RV (ps- his family is filthy rich) for when they go to New York. They leave at the end of June and get back the first week of August. I worried that he's going to brake my heart... Ug. I have a theory that I should probably just not date anyone at all for a while (of of high school a while) and then take if from there. I hate having my heart broken, and i don't... I don’t know... I don't think that I'm going to be getting married, ever. I don't trust guys. If anyone has a guy who can prove to me why I should trust a guys not want to rape me or just want to make out with me, or who will brake my heart, then I will consider marriage, but right now it's off the table. And if anyone brings up Josh Nielson... I will say this, he reminds me of a little kid; the way he acts, the way he looks, I'm not attracted to him in any way, shape or form... EVER. And Kj is going to drive me through a wall... I don't know how to explain it but she is just so annoying and obnoxious and horrible that if I have to look at her again, I'll blow a gasket! And if Katie hugs me again, I will hit her and yell at her and say some mean things that I don't mean to say but I will say them because I've wanted to. And I want to tell one of my very dear friends (I mean she is like one of my best friends) that she is driving me nuts! She won't get off this one guy and in my own opinion, I think that she needs to take a break from guys. Oh well, she never listens to me or my opinion, so I'll keep it to myself. Ciao