I got a II. Not happy about it.
Saw Christian... It hurt in a place that hasn't hurt since Landon. He gave me a side hug and then left b/c he had to go to his school's jr prom.
I've decided that I wasn't meant to have a boyfriend in high school and as much as that hurts (like a ton and a half!!) I have accepted it. I'm just the pretty friend that the guys go to if they need advice about chicks. I want to badly to be wanted by someone besides my goofy friend.
Don't get me wrong, I mean Josh is a nice guy but I find him so unattractive. He's sweet but he acts like a kid and I just.... There is no way I could ever like him.
Today I saw Cameron Ray with his sweetheart and I saw some couples at the mall and Kiri and Malcolm... I was jealous! Whenever I see Steph with T.L. I cry inside, b/c I want that so badly. There is no way that kind of relationship will happen to me in high school; I'm only attractive to guys I don't like or jerks. That and I'm way too suspicious. If a guy likes me, I'm worried that the only reason they like me is for my body (I blame just about every guy I've ever dated for that one) or just for arm candy.
I think I'm just going to focus on my music for right now. My music and my writing. Hopefully, I can achieve my dream, but to do that, I gotta make more time for music and less time for boys. *soft cry*
Boys suck!!
Ciao
Read 1 comments