after work experience i stayed at joe's joint. there was nothing else to do and i thought that i should try to give my sleeping schedule one last bum fuck before i had to go back to school. lol. i always enjoy drinking beer with my mates. joe, pondy, Q, lucas and benny are the fucking bomb to drink with. i would give up anything to have a good night with them. we got sum dvds out and drank sum beer while we watched them. we watched- in her shoes (chick flick), 40 year old virgin and wolf creek.. while letting the crown lager do its thing and relax us. semira was staing over at joe's joint as well. don't ask me why? i think it is becasue she wants to get to know sue better or sumthing like that. i got talking to her while the chick flick was on. joe was out in the tractor. she talked about her family and about herself. i don't really know much about her, and i don't think many ppl do, so it was good to have a chat to her. we finised watching the movies and joe and his mumsies went to bed. i thought semira had too, but she came out and sat next to the couch i was sleeping on and talked again. she looked really upset about sumthing, so i put my hand on her knee, and she laid down on the floor. i had fuck all idea what to do so i just removed my hand. lol. the last person i wanna provoke is her. her fuse is this long <-->. she told me it felt good. so i just let my hand tickle her legs and her belly. it wasn't like it was anything sexual, well i thought that until i looked down at her and could see that she was either cold or turned on. she was right next to the fire, so she couldn't have been that cold. right away i felt bad. i didn't mean anything by it and all i could think about was rebecca. all i wanted was to be there with her. i didn't want to be sharing my touch with semira. how can i? she is far from being as perfect as rebecca. rebecca has never shown disrespect, hit me, hung the phone up on me, blamed me for something that has fuck all to do with me, made up blatant lies about me or turned and walked off when i try to talk to her. i don't wanna be doing anything with semira, because i know that she isn't anything as special as rebecca. that night when i finally slept (3:00am) my dreams were all of rebecca. when i woke i was dissapointed becasue she wasn't there with me and the happiness of the dreams were just like smoke. they got thinner and more vivid as i woke up more. when i first met rebecca i used to think that she was a witch. random i know...but i couldn't understand how i could feel that way about her and not be under a spell. lol. i don't mind anymore. if she is a witch then i couldn't give a fuck. lol. i would do anything for her...no limits. i am starting to like her again...i mean really like her.