Lately I kinda feel like I'm walking away from what I dont want to do, except I never actually walk away. Its a pretend walk away and the effects wear off fast. At least I'm not walking backwards. Most of the time. This summer I think I need to start over again. I play a song at random and hope its solves all my problems. Isnt it funny how every single song can relate to you. I think thats silly, but I believe in it. I've been questioning my beliefs a lot lately. Church has become more of something I look forward to now. I think if I stay on this path next year I'm going to get baptised again and renew my faith. Maybe not. There are still a lot of questions I have to ask. I wish I could go away this summer. My moms friend might take me to California for awhile. I'm ready to walk away for some time. I want a break from everyone. Does that sound awful? I hope so. Ive been wanting to be mean lately. I somewhat wish I was older so I could just say, "Well screw this shit, I'm moving." Not just to move and keep running away. But to say the hell with everyone else, I'm taking my chances elsewhere. I cant wait to be older. --Kayla