I have a feeling this ig going to be a long entry. Man I never realized how much I depend on Scott to help me with my emotional needs. Him being away has really taken its toll. So I guess I'll completely rely on this diary. Thats an honest, yet risky move. Viewers reading this who know me, can discuss my whole life with anyone. But truly, inside I dont care. Not anymore at least. I know that you have to make risky moves in life, and I've made the max number I can now. All I have to do is wait for them to play out. To my advantage? Perhaps. Only time will tell. Hell, in a week I could be wishing I never did this, or that. But thats regret, a monster I've decided to let out of the closet. I have a feeling, that this part of my life has been the toughest most challenging event(s) I have yet to face. Kind of scarey, considering how minor it is. What else does this world have in store for me? No preparation for tomorrow at all. For all I know I could get dirt kicked at me while I'm down. We shall see... Self-pity is not a Kayla thing 'tall. I dont thik I've felt sorry for myself yet. I've wanted to....but havent. Yet. Man I need to get out and do something. The only thing I've done the past few days is eat....Hmmm not a good trait. Oh well, perhaps I'll write more later. Until tomorrow then, Your nieghborhood Superman P.S. American Chopper is a kick-ass show!