I've been longing to 'fess up and write down emotions in here that's been torturing me all day! And now that this site is actually working, I don't have the privacy to actually write what I've been dying to write. Well first of all, I want to state that I kinda do screw things up. I thought I changed but nah -- that's still me. Why?! Why?! It sucks, it truely does suck to hate yourself the way I tend to hate myself at times. And I'm so frustrated. I feel so lonely. And grr, it's just soooooooooo headache-y. I was like so upset about things, I was just lying on the ground -- feeling so dead. I couldn't even bring myself to drink water. Ugh, I hate how things are. But I'm okay.