god i'm somewhat irritated by him. no, that's an understatement -- i'm kinda infuriated. i feel like i can't trust him if he's just going to blab everything i say. ugh well, i just began ignoring him on messenger. let's see if he calls. on the other hand, i watched v for vendetta yesterday. i identify so well with natalie portman's character. she was curious, she desired for a change, but fear restrained her. creepy and frightening to think that maybe i have to go through all she went through to eradicate that fear that suppressed her thoughts. everything v said, was basically everything sergio has ever told me with his anarchy indoctrination. that movie made me feel so uneased though. i know that v was doing what was right, but it's so much violence and involved him murdering numerous individuals. i felt like all that violence was necessary in order for the world, and society itself, to be righteous. like i stated in probably earlier entries, i agree with most ideas of anarchy but they're taking all the wrong steps to achieve what they want. i'm listening to taking back sunday right now. that really should reflect my mood right now. i guess i just feel betrayed. and college rejections are upsetting me. not to an intense point, but enough to stir some uneasiness and disappointment in me. jose made me feel guilty when he asked whether i was going to the protest on saturday. he made me feel as if it's the wrong thing to do to not go but that's when the riverside orientation is. and i don't know who else is going. i kinda do want to go. i hope sophay goes so i'll go with her. he's all anarchist now. sergio and him lead parallel lives. giving up on people in pursuit of anarchy. well i'm just a little upset right now. i feel tired. this is draining my energy.