yesterday's entry made me realize that i have neglected sitdiary for a while. partially due to the workload at school, or using my xanga instead. but xanga can be a bitch sometimes, sitdiary will always be my primary online diary. plus, this is more discreet and hidden from nosy bitches at school. well i received the carondelet award for $9,000 for the 2006-2007 academic year and is renewable for four years at mt. st. mary's college. that's grand. but it's a minor scholarship compared to leo's full ride to claremont mckenna. so i'm somewhat happy as of now. she wants revenge sings the twisted words formulated in my deep brokened-heart. although it's winter vacation, i am only reminiscing of last year's winter vacation. how absolutely heavenly and pleasant it was, how i was falling in love. falling in love is an amazing act, that is -- if the person loves you back as wholely as you do. see it's not him i miss, because he was an asshole half the time. it was just being in love and discovering yourself, and that person. also, i'm not even done with my scripps college application. and that's my number one choice so i'm so frustrated with myself because i can't seem to get started on the essay! well i'll try to do it tomorrow but god, i am stressed. i need red bull to actually focus on the essay.