it hurts too much to look back on the past and see how much happiness was there but i didn't take the time to fully appreciate it. and now it's gone, my only happiness is gone, and let's fuckin be honest -- he moved on and he's not coming back. now i'm really starting to dread school the more i think about it. the way it's going to be so different and how i'm going to have to cope with seeing him around & having him for 2 classes. it's like the asshole stabbed me in the heart. wow, i wouldn't be this way if he wouldn't have changed me or been so persistent with his ways. i had a dream that he asked me if i was okay or something. and i said "yeah" and he said, "good. i don't want you to be jealous when you see pictures." something occured similar to that. but yeah, i stopped having dreams of us back together.. which is good because those hurt when i realize they're dreams. and i'm more in tune with reality. but i fuckin despise reality.