i'm so mad. i'm so sad. at least spare me some sympathy. don't worsen my day. don't kick me while i'm down. these people i'm dealing with, are honestly bitches. fuck, i don't give a shit what happens to them at this point in my life. i feel so desperate for an out. i'm so tempted to take that razor in the restroom. i'm so tempted to overdose. but i've gotten this far now, i've been through worse. i don't want to end it in regret. why do i let these things get to me? it's so awful. i sat there hyperventilating, but this time i couldn't calm myself down. i had to call liz. and afterwards, i just lied on the bedroom floor. i seriously need an out. how? give me a temporary out right now to make this go away.