i just got home from school n i have nothing to do. today some students from providence day school, north carolina arrived for an exchange program...whatever haha...anyways..ive been feeling really loww lately..like reallyyy...first of all bcuz of the situation with gus for which i have a record on love-hate-love-hate-hopeudie-love-hate situation...and then..my best friend beto his been realy weirdly reciently..kinda ignoring me bcuz hes got a girfriend now..and its funny cuz im supposed to b happy for him..but instead im all jealous and stuff..i mean im supposed to be his best friend and be happy for him but like his not talking to me anymore so how does he want me to react?! goshh i hate myself sometimes i give me suchh a hard time! anyway..situation at home also suckss as expected..were going thru this fucking economic problem that puts everybody into their last nerve exept me..which makes me feel really dissapointed cuz now im realizing what a materialist family ive got..and ive been really low too bcuz i stopped playing piano a while ago and now i wanted to start again but i cant play a single decent fucking note i dunno why!! im all stressed out..plus my so called friends are some real selfish airhead bitches..anyway my life sucks a whole lot at this pointt..the good thing is that ive been writing lots of good poems and songs eversince...lots of bad shit comes with inspiration i guess..if someone has something they recommend or wanna say to me please post it..im kinda urging someone real and simple to talk to ...