haven't written in a while..mm...ok so yesterday today and tomorrow we have the mun simulation at school...im chair =)...today it was really cool...anyway..im really down again..fuck i hate myselff !! whyyyyyy !! i was so hyper at the mun and so happy..and then i had to fukin find a mirror...it made the rest of my day miserable...so now i dont wanna go anywhere and my friends are calling and saying like ur such a party pooper and whatever...i really dont care i just dont wanna go out...i rather stay here and write something and listen to music or watch a movie or die. and im hungry...i think im completely over beto now =)...its like i see him at school and im like...yeah u want to hurt me huh bitch ? huh? huuh?? hahah no not really..but i just try to stay away...but theres thiis other guy...hahaha im looking for love=)...he is like the nicest boy in the world...and he is SOO CUTE!! he doesnt play guitar=( oh well..i guess musicians have hurt me wayy too much...but he is soo amazing..but theres a problem...he has a girlfriend=(..uuuhhh i hate it whyy do i like guys with girlfriends?!?!? later..!! oh and YES IM CONVINCED my music player is alive and it has the most sick sense of humor..!! it keeps playing the few sad sloppy gay songs that make me cry !!