dear diary, sooo many things have happened.. my dad was in the hospital..they found him a flaw in his heart...that made me think sooo much...despite all the things that were happening around home..sickness or death were never an option for me...i took them for granted..but watching my dad so scared at the hospital..made me realize we dont have that for free..health also brings problems..and they are far worse than every other thing that can b happening right now...it made me so sad..how i was so worried and felt so defeated with my parents fighting..with being actually broke..with beto..with things that look like heaven compared to an actual dangerous heart sickness..how i took for granted the feelings of my dad..i thought that after all hes done i shouldnt feel sorry for him, he was gonna make it all good, i idealized him as a robot..but hes not...hes a human and he has a heart and right now it it sick..and he needs me..even though sometimes i cant forgive him for everything..he needs me.. in other newss beto can fuck himself..im done with him...first of all..he sooo plays me hot and cold..as if he wasnt my best friend...and im so stupid to let him..then he told my sister he wanted to get back with his ex..he actually wants to get back with her ! so im not gonna waste anymore of my time..what hurts the most is loosing my best friend..ohwell ill get over it...later..