its hard to begin....all resumed is i feel like shit..fuck u brenda i hope u die really really soon... i always fuck up everyones life..and now i fucked up the life of the only person in the world that i could count on and that i mattered to..my sister... she was just helping me out as always...she was only being a sister to me and i fucked everything up and now my parents are gonna give her so much shit...a lot more than they gave to me im sure...and i also broke my moms heart and made my dad so dissapointed...i try hard not to but its like thats the only thing i work for...give shit to others...this happened a while ago too and i decided to close and to get away from the people that i hurt and it worked because far from them i couldnt hurt them..not that i wanted to..it just comes...so now im gonna get away from my sister and my parents and mayb that way im gonna stop hurting the only people that once cared about me in the world..i dont mean get away like actually run from home or something..i mean just stop being myself with them...i mean not telling them my stuff and not spending time with them...and its gonna hurt so much to get away from my sister because she is my best friend..so its gonna be bye sister and bye best friend..but if thats what it takes for me to stop hurtin her then i have to...and they are not the only people i hurt..i always hurt everyone..but i dont want to i fuckin swear i dont mean to..and i hurt myself too...but bcuz i deserve it..thats the only person in the world that i want to get hurt and that doesnt deserve other people..i wish i could hate myself enough to hurt me really really bad but i dont...im that selfish...i feel so bad...later..