fFUUUUCK!! i just wrote the longest entry and this shit didnt work!!! .... i talked to allen...( ben's neighbor) and it took like an hour for me to ask him for ben's screen name..and he says he doesnt have one...HE DOESNT HAVE ONE!! so i downloaded this aol thing of fuck in my computer for him to talk to him and he doesnt have one!!! goshhh hes pathetic i thought that everyone in us had one!! whyyyyy is he doing this tome!??!!? is there a way that i can stay in touch with him!?! i fuckin dont think so!!! im sooo full of it.....i guess this means we are not meant to be...whtyyyy he was soo perfect!!! im never gonna b meant to b to anyone !! fuck it!! i want to vanishh...:'(....oooo whyyyyyyyyyyy !! he doesnt have one i cant believe it...FUCKKKK HIM! no not him....goshhh i need to talk to him im gonna kill my dad ..im serious....uhhhhhhhhhhh im so tired of hiiim....he and i just dont fit in the same world..why does he has to do everyything he can so he can hurt me?! he always hurts me...and he hates me so much..he makes it so hard for me to love him...