dear diary, haven't been here in a long while..and a lot of things have happened... first of all i am officially off the hunt for a bf..i dont want one in my life now..guys are suchh a problem..they call us drama queens..they should see themselves...they're the ones who make a huge deal about everything..and then there was something going on with this awsome guy..but he's such a guyy and he's like in love with his friends or something and he's in the stage of his life in which he wants to hang out with them every fucking second of his life so he doesn't have time for a girl or something...i don't know but i don't want to get hurt so i'm protecting myself and getting away before its too late... in family area i cant really say much...my condition is uniting me with my mom because she is really worried all the time and i think that in the bottom of my heart i havent really forgotten my dad and it hurts a lot but i really odnt know what to do..and i try but i keep having all this thoughts whenever he does something wrong..i try to forgive and life as someday i thought we lived but something blocks the way.. in school im having the worst time ever...not with my friends though thats a cool part of my life right now..but my grades are so shitty...i really really have to pull them up.. generally im all crappy right now..i need somthing to pull me up ...later...