emily is coming..shes not a girl...its a huricane or however its spelled...so im not gonna be able to go out...fun... i started thinking...what if everyone died with the storm...it would b better than one bye one with years in between and suffering tears that would make others sad for ever....then i started thinking about a friends dad that is gonna get amajor surgeryand he might die...and im praying so much for him and im spending so much time with my friend and im always trying to make him feel better..but...if i was him i wouldnt feel better...not if all the frineds in the world will actually act like friends and say stupid stuff and laugh to try to make me laugh...so mayb he wont feel better...but at least im with him..thats what matters right ? ...anyways...most of the time i feel like dying...but if i really died..what then ?? i know some people would cry a little and mayb miss me...for about a week...but what then? whats the point in dying?? u dont feel better....cuz u dont feel at all...its not like u solve ur problems cuz u dont have anything now...so...i dont wanna die...but i dont wanto live like this forever...but then i think about my friends dad...how he knows he might die and he iss still happy...wow...even if he knows he might leave forever...and then i look at my friend...the usual sparkle in his eyes is gone....is dull...he still smiles sometimes...but he looks older...tired..i miss him...but i cant blame him for being gone...i would be gone too...i hope nothng happens to his dad...im so worried ...if anyone is actually reading this please pray for him...he needs prayers.. i was thinking too...even if i want a bf so hard..mayb im not ready...i mean i have too many problems right now...mayb a bf wouldnt do good...but then i need someone to give me strenght right now... javiera parra- no u should listen to that song...it makes me think... i just found out time does not exist...