dear diary, ive been sad for forever now. this shitty mood has taken over me and makes me cry whenever anything at all happens...my dads almost gone and im gonna miss him so much..i cant think im not gonna see him again for a long time...i cant dare to think about it..it brings me down so hard..and the worst is that he is gonna be all alone...probably really depressed and fighting against something he cant control while im going to b here getting my life used to be without him... in other news i think im falling in love again..this time for my prom date...he is so fun and we have such good times..the bad part is that hes super in love with one really close friend...that sucks a lot..and he considers me his best friend so yeah the story repeats it never ends... my heart is such a mess today..fall asleep forever... EDIT AFTER TALKING TO BETO after an endless day of dying with each second that stabbed deeply my heart..the last thing i wanted to do was to talk to beto..but he suprised me as he always does by behaving incredibly understanding about my mood and everything...i wonder if he knows about my dad...i hope he doesnt..and then it hurts more to remember that he is not for real..he comes and goes like a heartbeat..sometimes really fast and exciting..sometimes so steady u feel like dying..