i hate it...why do i always do the same?!!..i am always daydreaming...if im not daydreaming about suicidal moments i am about so not real and beautiful things (eg. eugenio breaks up and we go out..i finally learn to scream=)...im actually happy and have real firends etc etc..) and then i "wake up.." and its all the fukin same..i live in the same shit life...i am the same fucking horrible person...and i get mad at everybody in my daydreaming cuz they cant make it true...but its only my fault cuz i made it all up...i fall in love with boys i create in my mind only with the same face as a boy i know and then i get all dissapointed cuz hes not like that...BUT I MADE HIM UP!! ...i hate it...i shuold stop hoping..and thinking things will get better cuz they just dont and i get sadder everyday...fuck...later...