i always had the dream of playing guitar. to escape through the chords into an invisible sound in which only i could live...to scream how i felt with one note, to write a poem without words, to confess everything with my eyes in my fingers, my mouth shut. instead i got the gift of dripping tears out of my soul. sometimes when my heart is so quiet i think it might be asleep, i shut my eyes hard to make them shut up. to make them stop thinking, stop feeling, stop paying attention to me and just try to open them to see the world they are missing, but instead i open them and i wake up my heart with a so tragic sound it makes it go crazy again. spining around it makes me remember in a second everything ive been longing for years to forget. i dont really know you. but i will in the moment that i look into your eyes and like the person that stares back at me into them. is she smiling? is it her lips or her eyes that are lying? or are your eyes..? life's never been a laugh, but i guess i can't complain..life is what you make it, why am i making this? i like to watch strangers and imagine how their life is. with the way they walk you can tell where they are going, with the way they smile you can tell what they are smiling at. sometimes if you look close enough, you can see their smile is pushing back a frown, or a tear, and if you look into the mirror of their pupils, you wont see yourself clearly, like a reflection in the water...sometimes they look sad, or scared, and sometimes they really are. the only thing you can do is stare back at them and wonder why. try to find a sparkle in their eyes, its that smile trapped inside, you know its there. sometimes i wish i could be a stranger and know nothing about me, and when someone passed by me they could try and guess where i am going, what i am smiling at, why i am sad or scared, and when they look in my pupils, they can see their reflection and smile back to it and then keep walking away...