dear diary, ive been sad all morning and i was so sad all day yesterday...everythings got together and its too much for me to handle..my mom went to the rehab center to see my dad for the first time and i dont know how well they both are gonna take it..yesterday my friends this all this stuff and i wasnt invited..yeah so with those friends i dont need enemies anymore..ive been alone all weekend...i hadnt dealed with loneliness for a while, i had forgot how horrible it feels. im trying to distract myself with some homework, tv, food, but nothing works...i feel my heart pumping so hard and for oncei really really need to talk to someone about how bad i feel and its awful to notice i cant seem to find someone who would care enough, someone who will listen until the end, someone who i could open up completely to...im just so tired of everything..and i thought that maybe being alone all weekend would help..that it would be kind of a break from reality..but it worked the other way around, it made me realize how shitty my reality is..i really need someone right now...