if u ever want to really really relax...listen to that song... ok so yesterday we had a xv..it was from the loserest gurl of my school but we had to go cuz some of my friends were at my house and my mom made us go so then the others went to..but it was actually awsome cuz like there was no onee really important for us..just like the kids of school and some other who-knows-where-from kids we were like dancing really crazzyyy and doing all kinds of stupid and fun stuff haha...it was fun...and beto and her girlfriend where there..and i felt good for them...yeah it was about time...and nico was there...and we danced this song together that it seems the author of the song was thinking about us when he wrote it cuz it was kinda our story...and then we finished and he got near me and he whispered "i love u"..and then he kissed my cheek...yes i was so desperate....and then we whent to another place and we talked a lot...and we shared a smoke=)...haha lol...i dunno what to think about him..im so tired of this...im tired of thinking on someone who i dont know who he is thinking of...im tired of hoping..im tired of waiting..so im just gonna resignate that im the girl guys should be friends of...and have to live happy like that cuz i have no other choice.. anyways i wrote another poem...yeah i know i said i would burn them but i just cant burn my feelings..they wont ahah theyre stronger than the flames of fire...so here it is...its called conversation with myself Trying is like letting myself die, Because every time I do it’s worthless, Because killing is a lie, And lying is proving you’re not my caress. Writing is such a waste of time, words are too rigid to understand, and what I feel inside, is a waste of life my tongue tangles when I try to speak, of how I want to feel, and my fingers numb when I try to write anything at all… my grave is now so fucking deep, I never stopped digging, I never stopped to think, Maybe u won’t die; maybe you’ll just sleep, But what about this life that makes me cry so sudden...then makes me stand so still? It’s all so careless, so hazy, so death… Too vast to not feel anything, too frightful to feel at all… it’s the center of everything, it’s the highness of the wall… don’t know what else to say, except don’t leave, I’m scared… don’t leave me with my own, I’m gonna make me pay, all the pain that I have caused, please just don’t let me stay... the cuts in my wrists don’t make me a cutter, don’t be scared of me, I really don’t hurt others… and the tears on my eyes don’t make me hurtle, it’s the words of your lips that keep me so stumbled…. Yes, i´m gonna make you cry, And I’m gonna laugh so hard, Cuz I love the pain reflected in my eye, When you can barely stand… I like to imagine I feel what you feel inside… I’m always with you, why do you keep running? You can’t go far; you can’t darken my morning… I know you hate me, I know you want me to die… Just remember if I do, you will forever cry, you will kill a part of you, You will leave everything too, you just will never lie… I won’t hurt you anymore; I promise I will try, I just love to see you scared, you’re so afraid to die… Don’t be afraid of death, it’s pointless and boring… I though it would be better…but it only keeps me burning…