hi...today was 2/2....i had to write a poem for spanish and i fuking cant write poems in spanishh..they suck so bad...and the stupid teacher gave me this long speech cuz she said my poems were too depresing and stuff..fuk her she doesnt know anything about poetry...and she wants me inspire myself in spanish...wish would be really obvious but i just cant..anyway...today beto spoke about priscy all day...and u know something..it didnt bother me that much...it still hurt...but i was looking at him talk to me...and i noticed the way there are things he only says to me like in the whole world..so i have no fucking right to hate him inside myself and wish him to break up with her...its so mean and selfish from me...so i just listened and tried to mean the smile on my face for him..he needed it....anyway..i've been writing alot lately... (obviously in english)...but i dont feel lik showing it to the world anymore...if i always hide my feelings from myself...why should i show them to people ? just to hear them say things like "try to improve ur writing on this and this..." or " u shouldnt write depressing stuff.."...or simply people critizing it ...noone should say anything about my poems..those are my feelings printed there...not just some bunch of words...its me in a paper...dont judge it..people dont know what made me feel that way...they dont have the right to judge it...so...im planing on burning up my stuff everytime i write it so it disappears and no one can see it again...not even me cuz sometimes i feel something i wouldnt want to feel anymore...but i remind them to me everytime i read them...so i wont anymore...well..changing subjects...ive given up on my love life...im gonna convince myself that boyfriends and brenda just dont go together in the same sentence and if someday it happens that a boy likes me as a girlfiend (which would be a miracle if he did..)....i will be happily surprised..=)...i think im this happy cuz im so tired and sleeepy hhaha i dont feel like writing anymore...soo....later ppl!!