6:11 Monday Evening   Unsaid "I Love You" (Not-so) Quick Recap of stuff since Thurs. Thursday school was completely normal, but i got my photo contact sheet printed and that was pretty cool, they turned out really awesome. Then after school went to Caleb's, then went home, got all packed, showered, and waited to be picked up to go to Easter Camp. At Easter Camp, and at EC we got set up and everything, went to the mandatory entire camp meeting where 2,700 teens plus youth leaders and youth leaders' children crammed into a big marquee and listened to a band called Satellite played Christian Rock/Pop which was okay but tiring after a while. Then they'd have a speaker which was pretty good and motivational and then we'd listen to music some more and then we'd leave and go back to our individual youth group camp marquees (I'll call ours the WCYG marquee...because it's WestChurch Youth Group). After that first meeting we pretty much just lazed around and did nothing. Friday, woke up to rain, and hadn't slept well that night due to various aching body parts. Had breakfast of muesli and canned fruit, then did an aerobics routine with WCYG, and went to the morning meeting. After the meeting we went back and had smallgroups discussion on who Jesus is to various people. After lunch, Zeb, Caleb, and I went to see I, Robot. I lazed around reading Dune, feeling sorry for myself because I was lonely and had no friends, but did see brett's band play which was cool, yay moshing and hitting my head on Rod's sunglasses. Then i went back to reading Dune and I even finished it. Then I went to tea and got hopelessly lost on the way back. What I wrote in my nightly account of EC was "I got hopelessly lost but fortunately found a landmark and was able to navigate at that point.         I wish I had friends. It's like Zeb and Caleb are ignoring me and coupled with my headache, this makes me sad..." blah blah blah whine whinge moan. But it had stopped raining. I went to meeting and came back and pretended to read a different book so that i wouldn't look lonely and then Brett and Tim came round looking for me and made me feel special. "John, do you have any kings?" "Go Fish" hahahhdasklfghadfg. there are official rules for "Go Fish." Whoa. I went to brush my teeth and when i came back Brett and Tim were gone. So I looked at the stars and the moon. Then Caleb came out and I talked to him. We got things sorted out. and looked at the clouds. then i went to sleep. Slept well, actually. Then it was Saturday. The best day of all. I had breakfast and went to meeting (even got into jumping around) and discussion was cool, about God's love. Lunch was great, and I met a guy named Ben. We talked tons that day, about lots of things. So he's in his second year PhD designing medical drugs using computer or something like that, I don't really remember (Bioinformatics maybe), and he's just turned 19 in February. So he was pretty awesomely intelligent and whatnot. I spent most of the afternoon playing Scum and talking with Ben. His eyes are like Josh Hartnett's! It made me think of Myles and then reminded me of my Mandy. I miss my Mandy. Ahm, then that evening's meeting wasn't great, too much music and the speaker didn't do much for me at all, but oh well. We went back to the WCYG marquee and lazed around, but then found out that Brett's band was supposed to play that night so we went to the main marquee. On the way, we passed the youth group's camp that played the Goo Goo Dolls' song "Iris" twice when Zeb was going by but never while I was so I went up to them and asked them to play it for me. hahaha. They said someone was in the tent talking but to come back later and they'd do it, so we just they were 3rd up and the first band sucked...I'm sorry to say it, but I have no respect for Simple Plan wannabes. Really. So the three of us went to the rave tent to bust some grooves out and that was really awesome, I love trance/dance/house music. The best part was getting to move however I want and no one would look at me like i was crazy and no one was high on anything but life. It was great. After a while we went back but the first band was still up so I decided to go back to the WCYG marquee and get stuff to go shower with. I dragged Zeb back with me so that I wouldn't get lost, and we passed this YG marquee again so I ask them to play Goo Goo Dolls' "Iris" for me again. :D They did! Some random Asian guy in the YG danced with me. It was all very cool. Then I had the fastest shower of my life and Zeb and I went back to the main marquee (obviously zeb did not go into the showers with me, he stayed in the youth group marquee...), but Caleb found us and told us that Brett's band had just finished playing. :( So we went back to the WCYG marquee and chilled, Zeb went to the rave tent and grooved and Caleb and I cuddled on the couch and talked about how cool it would be to share our faiths completely with one another. We talked about that for a while and there was a lull in the conversation where we both just sat there, deep in thought. I was thinking about how I would share my faith with someone when he looks me in the eyes. Out of the blue, his voice goes small and he says, "I love you." I was completely taken aback. I started crying. "Teresa, don't cry," he says, so softly. "I love you too," I choke out into his shirt, and I'm not sobbing...the tears are just falling from my eyes and my face is on his left pectoral muscle and he's worried he's said something wrong and I'm wishing that he hadn't said that since I'm leaving in 6 weeks. And at the same time I'm unspeakably happy that he loves me just as much as I love him. It is then bedtime so I go to bed. :P Sunday morning! It's Easter!!! Praise the Lord for He is risen from the dead and has saved us from sin! Jesus is so cool. The meeting that morning was amazing, the speaker had me in tears. Two leader youths from WCYG came to me and supported me while I cried and it was a very awesome moment. So the question is can I give everything up for my Lord, my God, my Jesus? I want to be able to, but first I must talk to Dave when i go home, to discuss the things that are holding me back. Smallgroups we had a really awesome, hourlong discussion on beign christian, what it meant to be christian, and how we became so. And lunch was really great but i ate too much. I hung out with Kate's youth group while i ate my vegetarian pie (she's vegetarian too!), so that was pretty cool. Then i went back to my yg and ate the rest of my lunch. I talked with Ben a lot and cuddled Caleb because he was sick with flu, poor thing. I sat with Caleb until it was time for the evening meeting. I didn't even get tea but that's okay because I wasn't hungry at all. Evening meeting was pretty cool, WAYYYY too much repetitive music which took away from the meaning of the songs which was sad, but the speaker was. wow. Amazing. Saying that it was okay to break down sometimes and that it's okay to be scared and we're not heroes and not making us feel guilty like even though we SHOULD feel guilty he made us realise that we aren't perfect and we never will be. It was awesome. Then back at home base (haha), caleb and I discussed the previous night and that he'd been thinking of ways to say "i love you" almost since we started going out, and that while he was In Love with me when we were first dating he's grown to love me more than the hormonal driven In Love feeling and I feel exactly the same way. we've grown together and we can share about God with each other and I can tell him anything and he wont' judge me and he can tell me anything and I won't judge him and it's just so amazing and i could cry just thinking about it. and that's a lot of "and"s. then Caleb was v. tired and went to bed so I did too (I was also very tired). yay sleep. Monday morning, had breakfast, did lots of aerobics, yay for the Hi5 song, went to the meeting, thankfully the band didn't play so many successive songs, yay, and the speaker was alright but meh. not the best. Then we went and had our discussion groups but really it was just communion and a prayer before we left to help serve lunch. So. Irony: Our youth group and the youth group that played all that great music were both serving lunch! I didn't know this but one of the guys who was there when i requested Iris and danced with the random guy (this guy's name is richard) came up to me and said, "Hey Iris." woo pretty nickname. I even remembered his name. I was like "Hey!........richard....!" and talked to him a whee while. Then when we were actually serving I got put next to a random guy. He served the apples and i served the drinks. It was so fun. we kept "encouraging" people to take apples. like "come on! be healthy!" and i swear less than half the people took fresh apples. crazy stuff. I got a pear instead of an apple but the apple guy forgave me. yay. :P Then we cleaned up the tents, took down our marquee, and hung around until people were ready to leave. I gave Ben my e-mail address and got his in return. We also wrote one of those story things where you write one line and cover it over and the next person writes a line and so on and so on. caleb started it, then me, then zeb, then ben, and back again in that order until Ben finished it. "There was only one way toget down the hill, and they knew they had to take it because no one likes puns. Health plus chips have 0%fat, Although really he could make absolutely no sense of the elephant's speech. The small jelly-like substance that had been hiding under a cupboard picked up a rubber chicken in order to jump over the fence happily. It would be tragic if he was unable to open the hatch he gave up. The sun rose and he looked out on a lifeless world. He began to scout for materials and ornaments that together are intrinsically necessary for seven years. In the meantime, a bowl of fruit sat rotting apples fell from the sky enough to feed an army, unless the banana were to make a miraculous appearance. So they planned for the greater good of mankind. "I can play that with my teeth," helled the green little man who drank 172 litres of thriftee orange cordial. Caleb loved shopping. In fact he almost liked it as much as the curtian rolled across and the audience broke out into tumultuous applause." It was really awesome. That whole rotting fruit thing was great. Bwhahaha. then we made our way back to the city, helped put stuff away, and Lawrence drove Zeb and me home. Then i showered and put stuff away and hung around most of the rest of the evening, replaying that one moment on Saturday night over and over in my head. Tomorrow I'm going to town with Simon and Caleb to take photos of them playing chess. yay!! bwahaha. it'll be awesome.