11:30 Late Friday Morning   Reliably Unreliable This just won't do. I'm trying so hard. Alternatively, maybe I'm not. I'm scared. I hate not knowing how I'm doing. I hate not knowing that I can do really well, even if I really do try. I'm just scared. I'm just really scared. Lately, I've really been missing Steve. And Aaron. Today I had tea with some of the faculty, and it really took me back to last fall when Aaron and I would hang out between chemistry and bio and just chat. complain about stupid people (sometimes including ourselves). complain about stresses and too much work. I miss that. I have no one to rant to. I miss last fall when the most stressful classes I was taking were stressful because they were challenging material, not because I was trying to figure out how someone grades papers. I'm more of an objective person than a subjective one. I guess that's why I'm in science, not art. Mind you, a lot of stuff in science is subjective but so much of it can be quantified. Qualitative material is great, as long as it has quantitative backups. You can tell me a picture is pretty - look at the composition; isn't the colour scheme amazing - but if I don't think it's beautiful, then it's all moot. It's nothing. You can't argue with 2 + 2. ok. I need to stop procrastinating now. I have three papers to write and not much time during which to do it.