7:07 Early Tuesday Night   Facing the Future I really really really need to talk to Caleb's mum about what she said to him about committing to me because what he said she said hurt me. I'm sure she didn't mean it in a bad way but I want her to like me, I want her to know that I'm good enough for her son, and I want us to have a good relationship. I'm just scared, and I don't know why. I'm pretty non confrontational until something makes me angry; this just makes me sad. Caleb and I were sitting together a few nights ago, just talking, and somehow that night's dinner conversation got brought up. We'd been talking about ideal ages to have children (between 20 and 30, apparently), and Shazz (caleb's sister) jokingly told me I should plan on having a child on my 21st birthday or something, to which I responded, "hmm, or how about never?" also in a joking manner (i thought). Now I know I've said I am not having children before, but it's almost always been in response to someone talking about me having said children. I am not sure why I am the way I am, but I do know that I get rather defensive when people discuss the matters of my womb and what may or may not grow inside thereof. Anyway! Caleb told me that later his mum approached him asking him how committed he is to me, and warning him that he should avoid committing himself to someone who isn't willing to have kids just in case he wants them someday. Isn't that a matter that caleb and I should discuss? Argh, I really need to gather up the courage to talk to her about this. and not cry. not crying could be to my advantage.