10:54 Mid Friday Morning   Fantasy, Dreams, Wishes, Secrets I love playing pretend. Sometimes I find myself walking around campus, making my way from class to class, and i'm like 'wow! i'm pretending to be a big cool college kid!' then i remember that I'm not really pretending. I may not be big, or cool...but I am a college kid. I still kind of feel like a fifth grader. I went on a field trip with my Dad's class yesterday to the local mill (longest continuously running business in the state!)...and it took all of my might to remember that I am the SAME AGE as these people. I think I saw some kids who I had classes in high school with. I felt like when I was little and Dad would have me tag along, ...as an elementary student. This field trip took me way back; way way back. half my life ago. It was surreal. last night caleb made me so happy I nearly cried. yesterday was just a really amazing day. Learned about the Phosphorus cycle in soils, sorted the music out on my mp3 player until my physics recitation. I am understanding physics right now! the processes are sorted in my head and I can apply the concepts to the problems...this is so new. It's been so long since I've felt good about Physics. I think I aced the quiz! then after physics, Dad convinced me to go with him on the field trip. then I went to tea with some of the profs, Dr. G was still in stitches over a silly joke he'd heard on Wednesday. Which was hilarious...because the joke was stupid When I got home, Caleb got online and we got to talk quite a bit. then I paid my club dues for Middle Eastern Dance, and the class was really amazing and I felt great. I'll miss it next week. I had cake and ice cream from my birthday for dinner. I can cos i'm a grown up. then i got to talk even more to Caleb! and we got to webcam and i got to see his beautiful face. And he told me he probably would come to USU for his PhD. So I will get to start looking for a house this summer!! Last night I had some pretty bizarre dreams... the kind of dreams I remember in the next dream....I know because I dreamed I was telling someone about my other dreams that night. In the last dream I remember having, I was at a student council meeting, telling some girl off for her age-based proposals to bring more equality to 20-year-olds (what the hell?). There was a really fancy bathroom. I know other dreams I had involved Harry Potter (this is the second dream this week involving harry potter..) and Caleb, Steve...weird stuff. I love dreams. They are amazing. It's awesome that when I'm tired enough, I can take a 5 minute nap and still have a dream. so I wanted to talk about my current top picture on this journal's layout. The picture of the giant bubble. When I was a young lad (...i mean lass), I loved blowing bubbles on my front lawn (way back when I lived over a mile west of main). I would whisper secret love messages into the bubble and hope that they'd reach their intended recipients. It would only work if the bubbles made it out of my view without popping. I would pretend the bubbles were a futuristic high-tech communication device and I was a secret agent sending secret plans to secret organizations. .... who am I kidding? I still do all this. man. I hope I always will. time to go pretend to be a college student and go to my class. where I will...actually have to pretend I believe the sociological crap we're fed. hahahahaha. oh man. ---------------- A Few minutes Later Craig was also in my dreams last night. that dream was actually kind of a bad dream, though, because it involved a hot and smelly room, an uncomfortable situation, and worst of all - a suicide car bomb. holy moly.