9:11 Tuesday Night   Someday It'll Be Day Why do tears come from your big grey eyes? cheer up, baby girl. Your eyelids look bruised, you've cried so much. Smile for once, darling, your face is so red and puffy. Am I crying tears of happiness or sadness? Oh, no, it wasn't a fight over the phonecall. it was the goodbye. how i loathe the goodbyes. They come far too often. I'm hardly saying hello before someone's saying goodbye. Sometimes I'm the one saying goodbyes, but do i mean them? Goodbye. God buy you. Sometimes we all need to ramble. now is that time. Today was such a good day, even if it does end in tears; so what. I wouldn't have cried if he hadn't called, but it's worth it. Today is valentine's day. Which is a day just like any other. a corporate cop-out. A religious holiday slaughtered in the name of making a buck or billion. But the thing is that a year ago, it wasn't valentine's day that i was so mad he wasn' spending with me, it was that we'd made plans to go to the big outdoor dance the city planned, and even though it was raining, that only made me more excited for it. and when he ducked out, that's what hurt more than that it was Valentine's Day, oh noes! it's a day he HAS to spend with me! no, that's not what it was. it was that he said we'd go to the dance together but chose soccer with his buddies over me at the last minute. But now that i've figured it all out, now I won't resent him for it anymore. I think that finally, after a year, i can forgive him. i'm so silly.