8:40 Monday Night   I'm getting Better at Missing You I babysat today, for 6 and a half hours. and then apparently i did have to work at catering today, they called me this morning, i had to go at 3:30. it was lucky; I got off babysitting at 3:10. They were annoying. They fought all the time. I told them they weren't allowed to talk to each other. They resented me. But the thing about children is they forget grudges temporarily if they are happy or excited... But I strictly enforce rules I set, so I said their names threateningly if they talked to each other. Laurie locked herself in her room twice. I'm kind of a horrible person. Sara was at work today, she and I were (are)lesbian lovers...this guy at work, Jon, and the two of us were left after initial setup to keep guard over the lines while Kinlee, Kylee, and Shae went to get the food. It was. interesting. We haven't "pretended" for a long time. I told Jon I was a compulsive liar and that i never joked. I'm the honest-est compulsive liar you'll ever meet. I'm probably more honest than most of the people you'll ever meet. I kind of have a crush on this boy. okay okay. it's a huge crush. I sat next to him in english first term of this year. He was so hott. I followed him home on tuesdays and thursdays. So i haven't cried in a few nights, but i miss the tears. I think that's kind of weird. I haven't really cried since i last talked to caleb on the phone, and even then it was only a few tears and i laughed at myself for shedding them. I laugh at myself whenever I cry. And then i cry harder. Today i laughed at myself as I was walking to my car because i was talking to myself outloud and i have never done that before. It was weird. I was speaking in a high squeaky chipmunky voice and then i caught myself and i was like "HEHE i'm talking to myself!" I don't know what's wrong with me, i wonder if I'm insane or if i just want to be.