I hate realizeing somethings, cuz i think i really need someone to be there for me..I never used to but seening since i have for the past few months without someone im lost, i mean with someone there im so happy and then yet one day when they arent there for me im all quite and such and i dont know wht to do with my life i hate it I never used to be like this and i wish i wasnt I hate depending on ppl i really do, I hope it ends soon tho. I might want to try a relationship again, but its just a thought nothing decied yet, i doubt it seeing things are messed up right now, i cant really explain with the three guys that i would like to talk about read this sometimes and I would rather not have them read it but dont want to make things private anymore. I will when things get really bad but for now im good i guess. I wanna go to Fernie lol..I miss ppl there but then again thats what i get for making friends with ppl that live there. Ugh all i want is one vist this year just one..but thats one thing i dont get and i wish i did, i mean i doubt my aunt is going down there now, who knows I hope she is but somehow i dont think it will happen Im not all that lucky when it comes to things i want, I dont believe in doing something that i want when i get the chance and let alone sometimes the things i want arent right, so i go what others want more then what i want, i mean yeah ppl want to me vist Fernie too thats why i wanna go so bad, but ugh its never gunna happen and i hate it, but enough of me blabbing on. Today i went to the mall, didnt get anything tho. Other then that i didnt do anything The last few days ive been hanging out with Kt Chad and Cooper tho, we've gone down to Carburn park and brought the vidoe camra too its been fun filled fun. Tomorrow we might be going over to kts house and watching movies aw there the best ppl to hang with..sometimes. but yeah I wish some ppl were in Calgary tho..damn B.C ppl...(weston n Darren) lol! and sum others but them mostly cuz there the funest to hang with. well i think thats all for me today. Love.You.xoxo Billy