wow..i wasnt sure if i wanted to write or not, but i just found myself writting anyways over the thought of forgetting something that would be pretty hard to forget, mind you im not starting with that subject right away, seeing i just finished crying over it. Today was fun, i woke up got ready and went to watch CoopersChadsfriends football game it was really exciting they lost, but i still thought they all played very well, and they should have won, or atleast tied but that ref was gay. anyways after that I went out for a walk with Dillon over to The video store but didnt get anything and then went to tim horton's and got an icecap and what not.it was pretty fun, we were talking about wedding stories too haha those were a blast eh? but yeah, and then we were looking in the year book and were trying to figure out if Lindsay was in this one class, so we claled alot of people and then just looked over and saw her in a picture with the rest of the class, haha it was great, and Dillon even called this one house and asked for her and they said she was takeing a nap, but who knows if it was even the right lindsay. but yeah. and then after that at around 7-9 i was babysitting the most cutiest kid ever! haha Carter! but yeah hes an a amazing little kid he was fun stuff. so that was my day it was intertaing and what not. well okay, i really dont know how to put this all...nor do i really want to get into this. so hmm, i'll just go a little bit into it and not say much. but i feel like shit for something and yet everyone just thinks this one way and shit but really ive been feeling so used, and having everything about dtms come back to me justa bout thinking about it and crap, ive just i dunno i havnt been having the greatest few weeks these days, which sucks, because i ended up doing something i never really wnated to, but i just, i cant explain it, well i can i just dont want to, there unspokeing words that i just dont ever want to get out, i just feel like this one person thinks im talkinga bout them behind there back but im not and im sorrie about everything ive just been having a bad few weeks..and u remind me of a person and that alone makes me fall into pieces of how that one person will never be again for me, and it hurts more than words can ever say. but im sorrie for everything and i wish nothing had changed and i want it to go back but i just to tell u the truth, i dont feel right in this skewl, i never have and i dont think i ever will, it hurts to realize something that you've always wanted is something that will never happen and everything that you tryed so hard for just falls donw in your face and the only way to get it is by not being myself, and that i dont want to happen, i want to be me, and just go back, but i cant do that, so im finding myself lacking and just being more and more spaced out and falling in grades and more hurt and hurting others, theres nothing more i would like for us to be back to who we were, but with much of this said...i just im so messed up with everything and i no none of this will make much sence to anyone but its something i just need to get out. i just dont get how you can say something about someone about how much u miss them and want them back but when all you ever did with that one person was hang out at lunch with them, other then that, u never really did anything with that person, and it hurt that person a bit, to realize that all u mostly do is hang out with that person at lunch and as soon as that changes you finally notice that everything is gone..when all you had to do was ask? cuz really that person was only doing what she was becuz she thought u were busy with everything else in your life..so she just went to the next thing...but nvm..im ending this cuz like i said, i dont want to get into everything, sorrie if i made no sence. Bailey