Im Sitting here trying to think of what to write listing to the same song over and over again. I can sit here and explain my day as if it went perfect but know that not one thing did. I'll be worried for a few weeks frusterated untill tomorrow sad about today missed out on somethings ive waited forever and been let down only because i was silent. I was with my boyfriend today, but thats nothing new, im happy i was because i really enjoy being with him, and then i went and saw a friend that just got home. and i've missed him for the time he was gone so i was glad i got to see him. I get home about an hour early Cause of what they thought i didnt want to go somewhere, but really cuz i needed to think and just leave..i havnt wanted to do that in awhile n then all of the sudden..Bam. it just comes.. but s many things have just been happening like arguements about things and then other things about the things agureing about and then other things about problems and then all of the sudden its as if nothing happened.. and im still stuck thinking about it as if everything was just a big joke. and then now as im typeing it feels like everything is a joke.. not just the things im thinking about but everything, like if im just this one big joke that everyone has to play around with n toy with me. and i hate how it feels like that but i cant help but think of it, sometimes i hear things from people that make me feel like they just didnt mean anything they have told me or anything they have ever said to me. but i get so confused with it that i just let it go afterwhile no matter how much i get thinking into it, i hate how at times i have this huge arguement and the other person gets upset cuz i dont beleive them and makes me feel bad but in the end im write about it..I hate how people just make you feel bad and then act as if its nothing about 5 mins later and that everything is okay but i cant let go of things that fast it normaly takes me a few days for things.. i dunno what im talking about anymore. im just blabbing.. .Lifeless Untill Known. .You Give me every reason to hate you..but i just cant.