I dont wanna be like this but it consumes me and I cant control it. Its almost like i know im loseing you but i just cant say anything, Its what makes me like i am when i talk to you. I hate it cuz i shouldnt expect things to be like they used to, even tho thats how we both wanted it. He cant do that and im still stuck on it. I miss the phone calls and him asking me real questions instead of pointless ones and the random times he would call. I miss how he wouldnt waste a min. with me on the phone and just had to talk. I miss the random hugs and the smiles, just like him, i miss how we talked and how i layed on him without him having to think 'sexually' on it. I miss the park more than anything, but i know that even if we went back there it would make it shitty too. I miss laying there because we needed to talk for 10 mins and have it go for 2 hours. I miss the guter and the 'falls' I miss how he used to tell me his dreams without feeling awkward. I miss myself how i was around him. I miss the endless talks about who we were and things that happened to us in the past. It didnt just make me upset over the fact that, its the only thing that can make you feel like that now, but the fact how i miss you making me feel that way. i miss the fact that im not the only one whos changed. I hate how i am because of how you've changed and even though i've told you i was gunna be like this. its only cuz i knew how much you would mean to me and how small of things you needed to do to hurt me. I miss you trusting my word when i said nothing even though i knew you knew something was wrong, but you would leave it...ect most importantly i miss how you used to remember why i said i didnt like you doing it, because its not that it bugg's me or i was against it, or i didnt like it, or anything else like that because i know you know those are wrong. It hurts cause it just happened to be the fact you forgot when it was part of the conversation that had to do with me telling you why i liked you. out of all theses things that i miss... none of it matters because your more busy with everything else and im happy you've moved on like that.