This Is the one feeling i never wanted to see agian. But it all makes so much sence on why it started in the first place. Now Its back and i cant stand to face it. I forgot how much it hurt and how much everyone doesnt care. But its just what i get for being this person who is stuck in the middle of everything and trying to get everyone else happy rather than herself.. its where it all started and i cant help to think for a split second i felt what i missed and how other people really knew me... how i just let that happen without having to choose who got to know me or rather who i block out and who gets to know me.. and i miss that.. i miss finding out a year later that someone i never wanted to know me, knew me more than anyone else and now i would have to stay she my bestfriend.. i cant help but talk to anyone else about random things.. sometimes its as if i cant and with this i doubt i can.. its just that one thing that started everything that i would have never thought to come back, but it did.. and yet again is just another thing that never gets outs. Its that one thing that everyone holds in and everyone trys to figure out. its that one thing that everyone knows is there but isnt really sure what it is. Its everything that i thought it wasnt gunna be.. it is everything I never wanted it to be like.. but thats just my luck and will never change.. -Ive never had time for everything and had no time for myself. ..I just wanna know how they kept me going and then i look at you and remember.. and then think of how much i need to forget that part of my life and wonder why..