I Need To Feel It Again And Im Gunna Let You Show Me.. I think i do.. Im Just gunna be me and see what happenes.. i feel like an idiot telling him that today like fuck.."i hope she's horribel".. haha im surprised he didnt call me Jealous or anything.. but yeah, i dunno im just like that i guess. right now anyways. i mean im sure after words if hes gunna be my best friend which i hope we still are but as it stands i doubt it which kinda hurts really..but i just cant see it after words... i thought i could. but if i see him everyday n he always wants to do something with me.. imagine what hes gunna be like with someone he dumps me for, ovuousily he will like her more.. and damn.. we wont have time to hang out anymore.. i cant see it, and if i have a new boyfriend i would love to still hang out with him, but it wont be for sooo long untill i think i could even go up to him n think about talking n stuff.. like i would want to but u no how hurt he might be?.. i dunno what if its gunna be one of those nurtral break ups.. maybe then..FUCK! i hate this.. its me thinking of things like these that make me not want too.. i never hear of anyone else havin so many ppl they truly love.. and why me? why does it have to be me? why did i have to be inlove with that stupid ass hole n the first place.. god sometimes its like i wish i never met him.. u no other then that maybe i could have figured this whole thing out way sooner. or maybe if i wasnt soo fucked up in my feeling but this guy that i would know too. cuz for some reasons its as if i have no feeling u no?.. like how u feel for ur brother.. but u know hes not your brother.. either way that sounds sick.. but u no u love ur brother..but dont really feel like it.. but u know if u lose him it would kill u n everytime i even think about loseing him its as if i just snap inside and i cant take it.. and today even i was like fuck.. cuz i was scared to let him go.. i had fun with him today i really did..i dunno why so much different then any other day.. and you know tomorrow im gunna do something im gunna be happy with.. kinda sad but im gunna do it. aw okay i just thought of something that happened..like i love a guy that pushes me to do things and cooper like made me try this thing on his skateboard.. i didnt do it, but it just made my day.. wow and this other thing. ive been sitting here telling me not to change for me cuz fuck there is no point for him too cuz he will sooner or l8er find a ladie that likes him for him and not have to change one bit.. but i just thought about that and ive changed so much from when i first started dateing n stuff. like i learn what not to do and what to do in relastionships.. and as much as u think that you gunna find a guy or girl that will like everything about u.. i doubt its gunna happen when some of the things could really bug a ladie or a guy. you know? i dunno i just thought of that in how i learn so much from my past boyfriends and what not. And I mIss him already.. man he hasnt even left yet.. but i guess just cuz i know he will be leaving. I just didnt wanna let him go.. and i wanted him to call me. and it felt like last summer how i wanted him to and next thing i knew he did. i smiled. Tomorrow is Katies Party and im excited for sleeping in the tent lol. the 'ladies' woot woot. wow i do not wanna go to bed tonight, sorrie if im super tired tomorrow ladies! i just dont feel like sleeping just cuz hes leaving n what not..aw im gunna miss that fucking Idiot..jk! hmm. i think thats all im gunna blab on for right now..im just keep adding quotes to my other entry tho. just cuz i love doing it. .Much Love...Saved. .Bailey.