It hurts when u read things and think that even tho this one person is talking about 2..it only makes u feel like that person is just talking to one person. cuz to me she never did anything with me, i was like that second person that she just went to just so she wouldnt be alone, the person that if noone else wanted to she would go to just cuz she knew i wouldnt say no..i was like the last resort to her..or at least that was how she made me feel..even now..about at the start of this month..or whenever this was happening, i was getting so sick of everything she would do to me..never call me over to just say hi, never ask if i wanted to do things with..always just assume that i would hear about the news and get asked sooner or later and if i didnt it was like a last min thing"oh are u going to this" or something like that. She never went to me for anything untill she needed help with something..and even then she didnt talk to me much. It was just like i was a lunch thing when even then all she did was just drag me around and go n see all her friends talk to them and move on to the next ppl. I felt like such a tag along and i felt just used..only becuz of the fact that she never treated me like anything but a person that would just be there for her.. a person to just use and simle at only to make me try not to notice..I know this person MIGHT not to have ment to do all of these things.. maybe not ment to make me feel the way she had...but she did, and for the whole time ive known her.. thats how it was. I finally got sick of it and then well she asked me to go out with her to timmys one day, here again " Baily do u wanna go out to Timmys with me" Right after she asked kt and she said that she couldnt.. but I said sure and there we had this really good talk, and im just saying this only cuz I really think it's shit to say that" not once did i use anyone's names" but yet that whole day me n her talked and she explained the things she wrote perfectly to me..I understood what she wrote and it made me a bit mad..I mean not the entry that im talking about..but The one that she said she was getting happy cuz she was getting sick and tired of being with the same ppl and doing the same things and yet she was happy that she was hanging out with new ppl. Your getting sick of ur old friends and need new ones..and yet before u've been friends with some of us for 10 yrs.. I mean we were just putting the pieces together thats all. and then u go n think were happy..after u said u hatd when ppl assumed things...for one.. I know that im NOT happy even tho u treated me like shit, I still loved hanging out with that person, she was fun, and one of the only people i can really talk to anymore.. i mean i can say that SAME thing about her..she seems happy, always has that simle on her face always around thoes ppl that really i dont want to even start about that, cuz I know she told me stuff about them too. but we i mean its her choice she can do we the fuck she please..I mean when u think about it, how she still thinks of us as bestfriends..bestfriend dont get old. U dont treat bestfriends like u treated me..and for one, how u wanted to call them..u have never called me once. so I assume u were talking about someone else when u said everything, Im pretty sure, that everything that u want bk is just one person, from how u have always treated me i dont think you would care if u ever talked to me again. last thing that im even gunna say about any of this..We never asked u to apolized..becuz we know that its what u think and u have the right to say tha, we just wanted u to talk to us frist..about everything and about both sides of this whole thing, but whatever if u dont feel like u should then i know that i wont, Just thought that seeing u "miss ur friends" maybe u would say something.. anyways.other than all of that im sick of skewl..really i am, I hate waking up each day just to go somewhere where u have to walk to each class by urself walk around amilessly at lunch is one person isnt there. I hate waiting in the morings just sitting there having noone to talk to noone around u that would even care. There one person that i can look at and smile and no that he will talk to me i know that i can always be beside him and not be sad..Other than that the only other thing is me thinking of Dt, I mean everytime i think of them its like my whole world just brightens up i mean yeah i miss everything which makes me sad. its just the fact that they made me happy, everything about that skewl was amazing compared to here. Ever since i came to Fairview i knew that nothing would be the same and i knew that i could never really have what i did. I tried mind you, but I can never get that bk, what i had was something i think everyone would want. It was great I had more than enough in that skewl...I did things that i think need to be done here. I hate how ppl pick of others i hate seeing people walk down the halls and noone says hi to them...I mean wow in dt yea ppl picked on some ppl, but it was just different..but im just saying that i love that skewl and other than that skewl right now that i can think of theres only 2 things that can really make me smile and not just fake every moment of it...Cooper and Snowboarding.. .XoxO. .Billy.