Every Moment ive had with you has been real.. I feel like i just let myself down. like i just gave up on things and shouldnt have said the things i did, i should have said what i ment and told them how i really felt, but i didnt and now its as if i have no idea how i feel like i trusted them so much and had so much hope and fun with them only to think that i just gave it all up..nothing has changed but just how i feel about them and how they make me feel now. Ive never been so honest with someone and yet hid so much with another ive never wanted someone here for me like this before someone to cry to someone to explain everything to.. i can but i cant, i wish i could but everyone has a part and no matter who i go to theres something i cant say. ive never sat down n done something i loved just to sit n cry because of something else. Ive never been more happy and at the same time more hurt, ive never been shown that side of them but knew it was always there, ive always wondered about them but never questioned, ive always knew the lies but i never did anything about them, i always knew there feelings and always tired to show them mine, ive always wanted to trust them but they recked that for me a long time ago, ive always tried to smile but got sick of it, ive always been scared to lose them and yet it seems like its coming so fast, ive been wanted to tell them things that just wont come out, i'm scared for them and have to let them go as if i dont care, its only one thing but to me its the begining of me lieing again, i dont want to start that and they just showed me an open path to take, i cant tell the trut unless i lose them, Ive been scared to tell them i'll miss them because i dont know what they'll do, ive been trying to give them what they need and help them n everyway but making sure im alright too, ive never been more worried and confused about them before, i wish i knew where to start and where to end, i wish my feelings would change to what i wanted them as, i wish i could say the things i wanted, i wish i ment everything i said, and i wish i knew what to do with them when they asked and didnt have to think about it, i wish i didnt have to curl up in a ball n cry as each tear means something about them, Ive been so caught up n them i didnt have time for what really mattered to me, i never had time to think it over, I wish i knew what 'i' wanted