Let your brain spill he said. My lastnight with Andy before his untimely death made my brain drain and his words take me over. So gone for days and in places with just my notebook to console, so I guess just here I go. I boasted "we are the children of chaos and this shiver in my toes comes from dancing on the edge of change and the sweet loss of control" Andy said "you're a dot on the corner of a pixel of a big screen-TV airing the last show of your dead scene. i think you need to slow it down. Do you hear the words you're saying?" and i said "I dont know how." I dried my eyes and said "where do you go to sit and enjoy the privacy that you claim i need? take me there today. where do you go? cus i just cant seem to get away from this mess i made." he said, "dont follow to where i go, you'll never know. rescue that solitude you used to know, but on your own." i said "if i could fly so many miles for just one day" Andy responded "we cant stop it so try to laugh about it. they wont stop it even if you shout it we cant stop it so try to laugh about it." -sometimes these people remind us of who we are- --------------------------------------------------- i try to breakdance at least once a day to impress you, i do. my laces knotted all my tongues are tied. they thank you, they do. well i hurt my second ankle trying to get down for you and though i tried, i wanted more for you. well i'll 1985 my way right back into your hair with brand new kicks to remind you that- lying beside you on the cool damp sand was frightening for me. i'd lost myself somewhere between your eyes and warm hands, you see? if we could fly so far ms. ides, to get away and if i can ever, i will see you again. --------------------------------------------------- we never talk to it. remind the world of who we are. i'm caught in this static, can't seem to understand why i can't stop running, i hate that feeling. my feet are moving and i'm not gaining- i cant stand running, its never ending. i'm just skipping a rope they're holding. i never talk to it -remind the world of what i'm not. i'm caught in myself, yourself. i'd like to fuck myself all day long- they like to sit and think, but the fact remains i've no time at all to play not today youth away sitting in the back seat of an automobile racing to my old age with no one at the wheel. sitting in for my face for something no one can trace, until they see the words gradient grey to grey packagaed in red, blue, yellow. a mean green bunch of trees tickle the toes of a winter sky the san francisco cold sets in to remind me i forgot my jacket. seeing bryce at the market reminds me i'm not in san francisco. let me go. --------------------------------------------------- Miss you. Words you've heard. ------------------------------------------------------- this weekend i lost my protection while laying to rest. i found them on the floor staring silently, just watching my soul undress. but i've my vulnerability now though as change takes it's course. virginity returns to a soiled body to be taken away once more. when i say soiled, i mean filthy, infected in every pore diseased with lust, bankrupt of trust, with a handful of festering sores that cant stop oozing the scents of random skirts all causing my skin to burn that contract and return back to my arteries then react and force me to learn. until i'm gathering criteria to be a better leper. first the shells then my dick, then my heart feels better to be governed by the hollow with an absence of me, instead of a faint memory. "slow it down. do you hear the words your saying?" and i said "dont know how" i dry my eyes and sit down take a breath to clear my conscience and he said "you know now" i dry my eyes "slow it down do you hear the words your saying?" and he said "don't know how." he dried his eyes and said "where do you go to sit and enjoy the privacy? that you claim i need today where do you go? cus i just cant seem to get away. from this mess i made today." -------------------------------------------------- So the chapter closes. And- where do you go?