Day 13 I have taken it upon myself to challenge my man hood. That's right baby, 40 days and 40 nights with no sex, no oral, no kissing, NOTHING! This is going to be the longest I have gone without any of these in.... years. So far it seems like it has been forever, damn only day 13. BUT THAT IS OK, I got this! I know Dave and Trevor are about to round up all the girls in my dorm and try and get them to break me, but ain't gonna happen boys! I am on a mission. I have come to this conclusion, with everything happening right now with my mom being sick, I can't get involved and attached to anyone. That would just be setting me up for disaster. I realized lastnight that even when things are going great with someone, things have a way of turning around... and ta da.. there you are .. left hurt and feeling like shit once again. I don't get how things can start to be cool with someone, and out of nowhere they can turn around and treat you like you are nothing, especially when they already know what you are going through. So SCREW THIS. Goddamn, all you want to do is hurt me, let me heal a little, hurt me... and so on. God, I can't take anymore. I'm dead inside to you.