Another man down.. oh wait, me.

by chadwrites
Listening to: The Get Up Kids
I’m just another man down, drowning once more in the bottles that burn like guilt straight down my throat. There might be no point in reading this, for it’s all the same old lines I’ve written before. Something about a girl and my broken unmended heart and how I broke anothers just thinking it’d heal my head. I”m at a loss of words for I’ve used them all up. They’ll both read these lines an be reminded of how they hate me for what I am and what I’ve become to them. Girls. They are my kryptonite. But tonight it’s ok because I can’t think straight in a drunken haze. “I love you, I hate you. All I know is I don’t know nothing and nothings going to break my heart, break down to a thousand pieces.” You just wouldn’t believe the words she wrote the ones that went something along the lines of my own self defeat. Sometimes you need to hear the truth, but the truth is harsh and can bite so hard it hurts. I’m hurting so bad and the alcohol is making me sick to the point I don’t think I could take much more of it.’ “So Chad I didn’t think I would be one of them. I never understood how those girls would get so attached and just lose you and never be able to gcome back, full attack. It’s like you took something from them and made ‘em want it back. I never thought I’d be like them, like that, but here I am tonight- just wishing you’d take me back.” I just can’t tell anymore if its your words or the vodka making my stomach churn. I hope to god it’s this drink and those words were blurred and I just heard them wrong. All this time who was I kidding with this nice guy bit, I even found myself falling for it. But truth be told I’m just a liar and a cheat .... for I love just one girl but I messed it up trying to fool myself. I almost had me believe I could get over it all. I was so close.
Read 21 comments
i understand what you are saying so well that its like you're speaking for me. that is my life that you're talking about only well, you're chad and i'm not. but you know what i mean.
Looks like that damned female crap turned your life to shit, too. Sorry man.
Sometimes we write to absolve ourselves and sometimes we write to get someone to notice. Some just write because they can. Whatever that means, I don't know. A girl is in my head.

--Nick
[Anonymous]
whoa...lol ok so i believe i read that wrong...it wasnt u who screwed up it was her...but still ...she still cares for u and SHE feels bad about it. so yea if she really means that much to u...dont let her buddy. finding someone worth waisting with is hard to find these days...well once again good luck...later
-cassie
Hey buddy...well im not sure exactly what it is u did but u obviously feel bad about. The worst thing u could be is nieve about it and ur not so if this girl is really important to u and from the sound of it she obviously still cares for you, then u cant let her go pal. take from a girl...the worst thing u guy can do after screwing up is not go after us. well good luck...later
-cassie
aww, thats sad...take her bak....and ps ur so bangin..i told u b4 but ah so bangin!!lol
[Anonymous]
HELLO! if that's you in that pic. WOWZA! haha. yeah.. lol
[Anonymous]
o chad!! i hope you get out of this mood.. your too good of a guy to feel this way even though i enjoy reding the words when you feel this way.. your an amazing boy and deserve the best.. get better!!!
with all my tender heart,
rita
You're lovely.

Thank you.
[Anonymous]
oh lovers its oka, i thought i could do the same. WRONG, so i drink away my sorrows, just like u.


-jessie
[Anonymous]
thats amazing now i feel sort of bad for someone who screwed me over. damnit! ha cheer up though :/
Wow, you're an amazing writer, as has probably been said.

And now I'll be cliche and end up with:
"Cheer up emo kid."
[Anonymous]
"chads pad" how adorable. xoAmy-Lee
[Anonymous]
HEY my Chaddy! Thanx so much for redoing my diary! ur the best! i hope u have a kick butt weekend! talk to u soon! love ya loads like whoa....
.:~*AliA*~:.
[Anonymous]
that's my favorite line from that song.

cheer up kiddo. you'll be ok.

-Lee-
[Anonymous]
at our young age
the future is nothing but haze
we don't know who we're destined for
all we know is that we need more
of love we can't deny ourselves
pushing deeper all those nails
we are crucified to our hearts
we can't help the way it smarts
but we ounce back
to once again fully attack!

made that up just now! but i mean it you'll bounce back!....pearl....
god you're hott!
[Anonymous]
hey chad!! u rock still! i love ya!! hehe u rawk my candi coated lips off! keep writing cuz u are soooooooooooooooo good at it! cant wait 2 read more-if ya wanna know what i meant in the butterfly effect comment i left then i/m me!! look at my diary 2!! *much luv*
*katie*(hot...i wish)
[Anonymous]
theres just one thing to say..

amazing.
hey cheer up man. you'll get the girl of your dreams. who knows, maybe the girl of your dreams isnt the one you think you love. just remember that there are no shortcuts to any place worth going. <3
[Anonymous]
yeah cant go wrong with vans...its just some sort of rule...sounds depressing [your entry] :( i hope everything gets better with time...they tell you that and sometimes its just a lie *sigh* but i hope it works with you.
[Anonymous]
hey you said something to me on my journal so id just like to say hello. thanks about the header picture, the sun was just perfect for the shot i love it. anyways hi.
[Anonymous]