it was mine and braden's first official day back together. yay!! i couldn't tell you what i was thinking when i broke up with him even if i tried. god what was i thinking?!?! i'm still pissed at myself for all of this crap..and for hurting him like i did. let's just say i'm a selfish bitch. seriously. i'm still trying to forgive myself..even though i know most everything's fine now since we're back together. i STILL hate myself though. today seemed kind of long. sort of. well, not really i guess. but anyhow. i gave all the notes back to braden that i ever wrote him and the cd and everything back to him. plus i wrote him a little something last night to TRY and tell him how sorry i was, even though i told him like a million times sunday on the phone..which was when we got back together. and i have a feeling he's going to read this so i want to tell you again. braden i'm sorry..from the bottom of my awful heart. i love you. i really do. all my classes were really just a big huge blur. i was so tired today. wow. but i was happy because i got to see braden a lot. i love his smile and that's what he did everytime he looked at me :-) nothing's better then his smile. i wrote lauren..as always..and told her that braden and i were back together. i wanted her to be the first person i told but that didn't happen. it would have if i would have seen her before 1st period like i usually do but i didn't for some reason so allie was the first one i told. oh well. she read it in the note i gave her and she came to my locker before 8th period and said she was so happy to hear we were back together and that it definitely made her day..then she waited for braden to get to my locker and she told him too :-) she's the best. i love her. and i think it's awesome that she likes braden so much..and that she HATED the idea that i was even thinking a little bit about dating kyle. she absolutely hated it and that's why i love her. that's why she's my best friend. she's ALWAYS straight forward with me no matter what and it's always what i need. when everyone else was just telling me that all i could do was follow my heart, lauren went further and let me know what she really felt was right and helped me to see that, all along, i knew what was right i was just too afraid to follow my heart. that's what best friends are for..to open your eyes and help you see what's really there. she's my best friend and i freaking love her so much!!!! sara and megan i love you guys too. you both helped me get through all of this also. i don't know what i'd do without either of you. you guys are so amazingly smart..and i'm not just talking intelligent, like in school..i mean smart as in you guys always know just what to say. you are both sooooo beautiful. i love you guys to the moon and back!! my parents are at something for our church right now and i didn't want to go because i had homework to do and i was going to get the dishes down. so i did and now i'm on here writing this. i also need to write megan something later because she wants me to, plus, i love her so i will. later.