i think i need to update because it's been a few days. i haven't really felt like writing much lately and i honestly don't want to right now, but it's always been the only way for me to "express" myself, i guess you could say. and i've had so much on my mind this past week but i haven't really felt like i could talk to anyone about it. i don't know though. here it goes. every year is a new beginning. a chance to start over with a clean slate. during the summer you tell yourself, or rather, you decide that the coming school year is going to be different..better. you're excited to not only see your friends again, but also meet new people. you tell yourself that you're going to study harder, have more fun with friends, and to just be a better person all together. then you get to school and all those expectations you had for the new year don't happen just how you thought they would. things are different..they've changed..and even though you remember telling yourself, during the summer, that you not only wanted but you were ready for change. any change. at least i thought i was ready..but i've realized i wasn't. things have changed that i never thought would and i haven't been able to get used to it. i was ready for school..but not the change that it bought with it. summer changes people and it can either be a time to strengthen a friendship or do the opposite. something i wasn't ready for. not only that..nothing seems the same anymore. and when i say nothing, i mean NOTHING!! all my friends are driving now and i will be soon. i still haven't gotten used to my classes. it's almost like i can't. i don't know how to explain it though. annd i miss sara and megan! i'm still trying to figure out what's going on with us. we don't really talk anymore and neither of us even act like we care. or maybe it's just me. but god, the three of us used to talk all the time, about so much..but we don't now. i've spent most of the first few days of school hanging out with alison and emily. i have like every class with alison and the three of us have lunch together. but i don't know. they're awesome!!..but they're not sara and they're not megan. i miss my friends (you guys). i can't seem to get used to all this change. things aren't like i hoped they would be. there, that wasn't much of an update but it'll have to do for now, because i'm tired and i have to get up in the morning to go take my drivers test. yep. it's at like 9:15 so i'll be missing 1st, 2nd and probably 3rd period..because i'm not coming in until afterwards. so wish me luck!!