today = mother's day :-) and i just want to say that i love my mommy verrrrrry much :-) she asked me to burn her a cd with a bunch of her favorite songs on it for mother's day, so i did of course :-) and she liked it a lot! yay!! so anyhow, i forgot to set my alarm clock last night. probably because i went to bed at like 2:30 in the morning. so i ended up not getting up on time for church. usually my parents make sure i'm up in the morning but for some reason they didn't :-( my dad knocked on my door and i was like, "yeahhh i know! i'm getting up!" and i glanced at the clock, thinking it was only 9:20 or something, but it was already 10:00 and we always leave for church at like 10:10. so yeah, i knew that there was no way i'd be able to get ready for church in 10 minutes. so i ended up not going and my dad wasn't very happy with me :-( after church they came to pick me up, and we met bekah and her parents at applebees :-) yay!! it was a very nice mother's day lunch. very fun and interesting. all of us think our waiter was gay. hah. and then these harley motorcycle guys came in and sat diagnal from us :-) annnd my mom kept asking our waiter if he would ask the harley guy if she could have his bandana :-) it was great!! good times, good times!! so after that, we went home for a while. then my mom and i went to wally world and i ended up calling braden to see if he wanted to come with us to evening service..and of course he did :-) so we went to pick him up and my mom dropped us off here, then went to get kim. so we cuddled and watched some very cute tv shows :-) i like us. we talked a lot to..as always. he told me alllll about last night at the prom with melody, and how much he missed me the ENTIRE time :-) and also how he wished it was me there instead of her. sorry but i have to say this..yay!! then we went to evening service which was very nice :-) i sat beside miss jamie, and mr braden. afterwards we all went to DQ together and had lots of fun :-) when we finished our yummy ice cream, the three of us left everyone else and snuck out to the country club golf course :-) it's verrry pretty back there!!! haha and both jamie and braden ended up falling flat on their behinds :-) and yes, i died :-) of course!! i couldn't help myself. and then they both saw a deer like 2 billion miles away and jamie was like, "ohhhh my gosh, we definitely NEED to go chase that deer RIGHT NOW braden!! come with me..we'll race!!" and braden was like, "okay, readyyyyy..GOOOO!!!" and they took off! hahaha it was hilarious :-) i just watched them..while walking after them. and of course i couldn't keep up with them..but it was so funny. before they even got there the deer saw them and was gone :-) they are cute though :-) definitely! ohh yeah, i almost forgot. when we were still in DQ eating our ice cream, we were all talking about what grosed us out..and i was like, "nothing really groses me out except spit. you can talk about anything else while i'm eating EXCEPT spit!" and all the sudden braden was like, "soooo, does that mean that you get grosed out when we makeout??" ahhhhahahahahaha you should have seen the look on jamie's face :-) it was the best thing in the world. the look on her face was priceless. and what was even better was the fact that he said it pretty loud and my mom, mary-ellen (my youth pastor), bob (her husband), and bekah's parents were RIGHT there at the next table :-) so they probably heard him. oh well :-) it's not like it's not obvious that we do stuff. i just thought it was funny. anyways. we took jamie and braden home :-( it made me sad. the moment braden got out of the car i missed him. that never happens. tonight was amazing. i'm not afraid to let him in anymore. i think that's been why i have pushed him away and distanced myself from him. i've been afraid of letting him become my everything. afraid that if i do, then i won't try as hard with my friends (aka lauren sara megan and allie.) i've seen what it's done to allie..sara and clay being eachothers everything. and i guess i've just been afraid to do that to my friends, especially lauren. i would never want to do that to her. but i really think braden deserves more of me then what i'm giving him. if that makes any sense. i think i'm finally ready to give him more. i'm not afraid anymore. i love him! i talked to lauren earlier and i'm very happy for her. alex seems very nice and he is very cute too :-) i'm glad lauren realized that murphy wasn't the right guy for her. i saw it awhile ago but i knew she wanted to find out for herself, so i thought i was being more of a friend by letting her, rather than telling her she was making the wrong decision in seeing where things went with murphy. plus, she's probably one of the smartest people i know and i knew she'd figure it out eventually :-) but yeah. alex seems to be much, much better. and i know that he likes her..he'd be crazy not to :-) i love her verrry much!! i really hope that things work out with her and alex :-) she deserves for it to. she's my absolute best friend! always! okay, i'm going to bed. later.