i couldn't tell you how many people asked me what was wrong today. even if i was around someone for like 2 seconds they would ask me what was wrong, when i hadn't even talked yet. was i that bad at hiding it today? i must be getting worse then or something. to be honest, i really don't think anything was wrong today..besides me still being upset with tara for not coming last night..and all of that. but yeah. i like what lauren said to me today, when i told her i was kind of sad, she was like, "yeah, you must just be having a yucky day." and it made me smile. i don't know why, it just did. i told tara today that i was just not going to try anymore..and that i didn't care. i think that upset her a little bit though. she was upset in math today too because she knew that something was wrong and she figured i was just "pissed" at her. she told me that the reason she didn't call me after she got off work last night was because she saw lauren drive by the restraunt and she had somebody with her in the car..and i guess tara thought it was me. because i told her that lauren MIGHT come with me to youth group too. and maybe she just figured she wouldn't have fun if it was her, me and lauren. but who knows. i found out i got an A on my math test yesterday. the one i thought i was going to fail. annnnd we had the second half of our biology test today. the essay part. and i think i did okay on it. i'm going to tell you what happened today after school. My mom picked me up from school today, as always, and even before I got in the car I could see that she was crying..but she was on the phone so I didn’t want to say anything. When she got off though I asked her what was wrong and at first she wouldn’t answer..she just cried more. So I kept asking her and finally she said something. She was like, “..you know that therapist that you really like?..” and at first I thought she was talking about one of MY therapist’s, joe or josh, but then she was like, “...the girl?...Laura?..” and I was like, “yeahhh, why??..” and she was like, “...well...you’re dad....” then she stopped and I was like, “...my dad...” and she was like “...you’re dad desires her.” and I was like, “...WHAT?!?!” I didn’t understand at all. Like, I did..but I didn’t. I knew what she meant..I just couldn’t believe it. And right after she said it, my mind started jumping to so many conclusions, all in like 2 seconds. Like, “..is my dad cheating?..” “..he would never cheat..” “..what does this mean?..” “..am I dreaming?..” and, even now I still don’t know the whole story. My mom really didn’t say much of what was going on. She just told me that she had found something...but didn’t really explain what it was that she had found...and that “my father” desired this girl. And that, apparently, Laura ALWAYS flirts with him. And that was all my mom was able to really tell me because then my dad called her on her cell phone. Hmm..yeah. And on the phone she argued with him about it. At one point during their conversation she was like, “..on the paper I found, you had put HER name and I’m your WIFE..but I guess SHE’S the one that you thought of first..” and then she started crying again. So I really don’t know what to think right now.. None of it makes any sense to me. At all. I just don’t understand. And it doesn’t help that I only know little bits and pieces of what exactly is going on. And all night my mom hasn’t talked to my dad at all..he’s tried to say stuff to her but she doesn’t respond. It’s like she’s avoiding him..which I can understand. But it scares me because I don’t know if my dad’s cheating or not. I couldn’t even look at him tonight..and I don’t even know whether or not he is. sorry that was so long. later.