well my sweet 16 is over :-( it's amazing how you look forward to something forever..literally..and when it finally comes, it's gone in an instant. ever since i was really little i have pictured what my 16th birthday was going to be like and now that it's over i'm now trying to find the next thing to look forward to. i haven't figured it out yet though :-( but to be honest, my sweet 16 was everything i always pictured and more. thanks to my absolutely AMAZING friends :-) i love them! anyways. yesterday was very busy. i helped clean up the house to get ready for our company. then typed lauren, sara, megan and braden thank you letters for making my birthday everything i could have wished for. then i got ready and shortly after that, around 5:00 zane, colleen, bob, mary-ellen, pastor terry, his wife, and jamie came over. they are all people from church who came over for dinner. yay!! when they showed up though i was online talking to lauren, and she was upset so i didn't really want to just get off. so i stayed on and talked to her for a little bit while jamie sat here on my bed and kind of looked around my freaking awesome room :-) yay!! but yeah, lauren was upset and i wish i could have done something to make everything okay :-( i hate when i feel like nothing i do would matter. i feel like a horrible friend. but she knows i love her verrry, very much and that i would do absolutely anything for her. i hope that enough though. because that's all i can do is be there for here. hmmm..i finally told her i had to leave since jamie and everyone was here, but that i wanted her to come to the variety show because i wanted to see her. so yeah. i got off and jamie and i went and ate. it was pretty yummy!! then my mom, jamie, and i went to pick up allie wallis because her and i had already said we wanted to go to the variety show together since sara had a tournement this weekend. so we picked up allie and went. it was pretty fun i guess. i sat with jamie, allie, megan and david. braden played in the show and they played good, but they stopped in the middle of their last song because they messed up and braden said that he was pissed because of if. i felt bad of him. but i did play good. and i'm glad i got to see him play. yay!! the show wasn't as good as last year's though. annnnd the fire alarm went off twice and they made us get up and leave the autitorium both times and wait outside. it was soooo retarded!! lauren ended up coming but was with some of her other friends. i wish i could have at least talked to her. but i don't know. i was with some of my other friends too. sometimes i forget that her and i hangout with different people, considering she's a year older than me..and it's hard because sometimes i just wish that we hungout with the same croud and were in the same grade. maybe that's why i miss her so much all the time. but i don't know. when i look at megan, sara and allie i realize that i have a history with the three of them that i don't have with lauren. and i have to remember that it's the same with lauren and her other friends. she grew up with them and i pretty much grew up with megan, sara and allie. i just wish that i had that same history with lauren because maybe that would make things different then they are. like, maybe we'd be closer. i mean, we're already best friends but i can't help but wonder if we'd be closer in our friendship somehow if we had the history together that we have with our other friends. anyways. as i was saying..the variety show was pretty cool..besides the fire alarm going off twice, sara not being there and me not really hanging out with lauren at all. but yeah. jamie ended up leaving early because she said she was bored. but when it was over, we took allie home and i came home, listened to music and fell asleep around 12:30 or 1:00. today hasn't been that interesting. i got up and went to church..wishing lauren were going with me. then came home, ate lunch with my family and pam. and after that pam, kim and i went to wal-mart to get the oil in her car changed and get my pictures from my surprise party developed. yay!! so i'll bring thoughs to school tomorrow :-) well that's about it. later hoes!!