So once again I have another depressing diary entry and I don't care if you guys read this anymore because that doesn't matter to me. What matters to me is the fact that I can write. I do this for me now and not for any of you. Today is my brother's 28th birthday. He's been gone almost four years now and I still can't believe it. Heather updated her LiveJournal and put in her away message about my brother which really made me smile that someone other than me and my twin sister realized the day. Its so hard and every year it seems to get harder and harder because I've grown up and matured a lot in four years. I've done so much that I wish he would have been here to see and to share the joy with me. I know that he's still with me emotional and spiritual but its not the same as him being her physically. Happy Birthday JIM :: rip 9/1/77 - 12/5/01 :: Tyler told me that he wishes he could be down here to spend sometime with me because he knows how tough and rough it is but he can't be. Its a good thing that I still have him as a friend and he spent this time with me last year so it was nice. Chanel's coming up to hang out with me which is good too. That's all I have to say, but hope you all are doing well.