So lately I've been really numb about everything. I don't want to get up in the morning and do anything, I want to stay in bed all day long and mope around. I thought that I was strong enough to handle everything that I was going to have to deal with, but to tell you the honest to god truth, I can't do it. Obviously I like Steve, but he's in Japan and than headed to Iraq and I won't see him for eight months. I thought that I could handle him being away and I really do want to wait for him to come home but its so hard to deal with him being gone for almost another year. I didn't want to get too involved before he left because I knew this was going to happen but I guess there's nothing I can do about it now but just hope that he comes home in eight months and then I'll get the chance I never got before ... The urge to cut has come back and I'm trying so hard to not give in like before but temptation is hard. I still have my razor and I'll never throw it away because I can't. I made odes that I promise I'm going to stick too but its so hard not to give in. Maybe its everything that's been going on lately but it sucks because its honestly getting harder and harder to fight :[ By the way, I have an english assignment due on Friday and the question isn't posted on my other diary [erinj] but I'm kinda stuck with ideas on what else to write about. The question is something along the lines as how I relate to Detroit/metro Detroit and I'm stuck but its all good. Maybe I can bullshit the rest of it and still get a passing grade. Hope that you all are doing well and I thank you guys for still reading this boring shit and commenting back to me ... [¢¾]