So I’m hanging out in my living room alone and I’m thinking about a ton of crap. I feel like lately nothing is going right for me and that I’m watching my life fall apart right in front of my eyes. I feel like I’m back on this shitty stupid rollercoaster and that I can’t get off it. I am not sure why I have all of these feelings anymore; maybe it’s because I’m all alone, but maybe it’s just because I’m almost twenty-three years old and I feel like things should be more into place. How is it that Kristin can find a boyfriend and I can’t? I’m like seriously :[ that’s so depressing when even she can and I can’t. I’m like what the fuck is wrong with me? It doesn’t help that I’ve been thinking about Tim a lot either. At this time last year I felt like everything was going right; I had this amazing boyfriend who treated me the way I deserved to be treated and was always around, even when I needed him. Now I’m sitting in my new apartment at school all alone because my roommates are gone and my “friends” aren’t around. I’m like what the fuck how come I get stuck being so alone without any friends. Ugh my life sucks. I’m like I’m supposed to have these friends and this perfect life but nothing is going right for me. I’m like wow I still have two years of school left and I have no boyfriend and I spend way too much time alone. I am not playing softball and I’m just like ugh this fucking sucks. Sometimes I wish Christine was still in Allendale with me because than I would have someone to hang out with. Scott wanted to hang out and I said that I wasn’t doing anything and yet I still haven’t heard from him and he got out of class at 3 PM. I guess I’ll spend another night alone hanging out by myself. At least in Warren I have some friends and family that I can go and see. Only one more day in Allendale and then I’m home for a few weeks and a trip to Florida. Maybe when classes start at the end of June I won’t be so lonely since I’ll be busy with work and school and everything. Is it time for MIS yet or anything? Only one more month and then I’ll be off at the speedway with my favorites and watching my boy kick butt and all that good stuff. Oh how I have no more summers left anymore. Two more years and then maybe I can move out of Michigan and start my life over. Maybe that will help me forget some of this pain that I’ve been feeling lately. I miss my brother :[