why has everyday become a struggle again ? my dad's trying to buy me back to make everything ok and this time its not. when he walked out on us [my mom, brothers, sisters] he never looked back and i try to be a part of his life because he's my fucking father but he just doesn't give a shit. so what he has a new wife [number three] and a twelve year old son [kid number six] but why does that give him the right to not think twice about the way he treats us. in a few years when i actually can leave i won't think twice about it i suppose i've decided to become my anti-social self again. it seems like when i need a friend no one is around. i'm not saying that i don't have any friends, but i am saying that with the way people have been treating me, i'm afraid to tell anyone what's bothering me on a daily fucking basis. jessi's probably moving back to grand rapids, which means i'll never get to see her and that makes me sad. i know that we aren't the best of friends, but we have a lot in common and we both can relate to each other. its going to be a sad day when and if she moves back :[ i miss steve :[ god i'm probably going to cry when he comes home and i get to see him, but not sad tears. how come the one i like has to be so far away when i need someone the most ? its funny how life works like that, but i hate it with a passion. someone give me a hug :[